pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
