"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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