I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
