help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
