nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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