So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
