im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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