Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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