I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
