All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
