can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
