and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
