Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
