and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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