people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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