im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
