He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
