Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
