the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
