I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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