it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
