You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
my liver is dry heaving
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
