When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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