Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
