JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
