Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
