Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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