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Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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