The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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