omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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