Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That was before I lit my hair on fire
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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