dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
