just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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