Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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