Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
