i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
