franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
