do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
