We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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