When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
