she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
