are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
