I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
