White coat. Heels.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
