Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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