I am puke
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
