I just saw a hot homeless man
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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