Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
