morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
