I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
