dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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